Mother of the Year

Yes, it is true. School is waaaaayyyy back in swing and I am beginning to fall behind on my duties as a mother. With our oldest now a Kindy, and our youngest a mean 2...life is wild when I get out of school. I can't complain, I have the best schedule in the world.

6:45 drop off kids in their p.j.'s
7:00ish arrive to mold the minds of 135 hormonal 7th graders
8:00 - 12:05 teach 5 classes...it is a fast pace with only 5 minutes between classes, but if I can make it through that marathon I am home free.
12:05 - 12:35 'lunch' which consists of one day of cafeteria duty a week and the other days I get to go to the elementary next door and walk my little man into kindy. Even on duty day! I just leave the cafeteria in the charge of our gym teacher and two other teachers trying to keep 600+ students from throwing food, etc. and I run across campus to go walk in my little scholar. Hey, I should count this as exercise.
12:40 - 1:25 my planning time...a solitary moment of the day when I can do whatever I, yes that was, I want! Sometimes go chat with my sister, also my school's librarian and a brilliant photographer Sometimes I get in my car and drive to hobby lobby and dream about all the cards I want to make, or the blanket I want to sew my brother and his wife who are expecting.
1:30 - 2:20 teach 7th period. Actually it is not quite fair to say 'teach' because I have never met a group of students so hard to teach. They are rude, disrespectful, tired of school by the end of the day...here I am fresh off a heavenly break. They usually drive me to want to find the nearest marjarita bar on the way home...but I would never do that :) I can't drink in the company of my closest friends without spilling something on someone. I always think it is a sign from God.
2:20 - 3:10 Clean up 7th hour's mess and get ready for the next day. Walk back to the elementary and pick up my charming kindy.

After that it is a whirlwind tour of picking up ornery little man, go home and start some laundry, start dinner, yard work, homework (me and kindy) man the phones from soccer parents (yes, my husband coaches the team which makes me mom/coach/organizer of all things good), disgruntled family members going through hard times, catch up on friend phone calls, make a card or two for any birthday or special occasion coming up, play with the children, show my husband love and affection because he is the best!
Although in my mind there is a web of sarcasm woven through the typing of that schedule... it really is the best. I just have to prioritize the wants vs. the needs as far as things to do. I need to focus on the joy in getting some of it done. I have even thought about a housekeeper?? Am I lazy? I certainly was not raised to think that was normal.
On the flip side of positive, I have at least 3/4 of an inch of roots showing which includes gray. I took my youngest for his 2 year 'well' check to find out he had double ear infections. I about died right there in the office. Not to mention when I went to pick him up from the sitter he had wet his entire suit of clothes during nap time. We were digging through the old stash of clothes that she had collected over the years...found a pair of neon green shorts, score! Now if we could just find a shirt...no, we had to dig through the other little sleeping boy's bag and found low and behold a power ranger t-shirt! I don't even let my children watch that show. He wore that and his cute little chuck taylor converse all stars (which are blue). When do you want your child to look better than they do at church???? The Doctor! Don't ask me why?? They strip them down anyway!!
My oldest had lollipop day at school and I have read every memo and still cannot find the one that talks about the day. He had to inform me on the way to the car that he did not get one and everyone else did. I immediately walk to the office and purchase him one. Luckily they were continuing the sale after school. Then I later find out in my neurotic quizzing of the poor child that the teacher didn't let them eat them in class anyway. I was picturing him sad and teary having to watch everyone else enjoy a tasty treat.
Pray for my sanity!

grandpa's hands...grandpa's heart

In a recent, unexpected turn of events, we have acquired a couple of house guests. Hubby's 82 year old grandpa being one of them. It has been a fun 4 days, with an undetermined amount of days still to come. I just could not lose these thoughts, I didn't want them to get away from me as school is powering up tomorrow. Yes, my extended holiday is over...God works in mysterious ways, and all for our good.
You see, grandpa is a very sharp, articulate, and kind 82 year old. He is a veteran, a father, grandfather, great-grandfather. He is a friend to many, never meets a stranger, and likes a good hug. (my grandmother particularly doesn't mind getting one from him) He is a FoxNews fanatic and a conservative Democrat through and through. He is a proud American. He was there when they raised the flag at Iwo Jima. His ship carried troops there and was in the middle of countless air raids a day. Grandpa likes routine, he likes golf, and bluegrass music. He may be one of the only people who ever tell my husband they are proud of him besides me. He is tough, but when my boys talk to him he listens and praises their every move.
Just the other day when we asked them to stay with us, I was selfishly thinking these are my last 3 days with the boys before my school year begins. I was selfish and bummed. I was mad at the cause of the situation, mad at hubby's brother and wife for causing drama of their own in a different state causing hubby to have to lose vacation to fly up and help them out. I was mad that my oldest will be a Kindy in a week and no one is worried about that. I was a jerk.
God has taught me a lot the last few days.
#1, don't get offended when your mother-in-law questions you for not bleaching your clothes the right way...little did she know you don't at all because it breaks everyone out.
#2, don't worry every time grandpa is picking lint out of the carpet and rugs. It is just something he does...regardless if you were to vacuum daily and have 2 small boys and have added a new dog to the mix.
#3, and most importantly...cherish times like this when God throws you a curve ball. Love every moment of it. Be honest with your 5 year old, because he knows everything anyway but has twisted the details in his mind. Reach within to meet your potential as a hostess, wife, daughter, granddaughter. Be yourself, and realize how much more is going on in the world than just in your little corner and you will learn so much from it.
Me and the boys took grandpa to Target today and he got a swimsuit. So excited that it was on sale. Tonight he went to our neighborhood pool with all of us. He finally relaxed for a bit. We heard old stories of skiing at the Lake and losing his top teeth. The boys never laughed so hard. Today was a great day...and right in the middle of it I got this email from a former student's mom. Very appropriate, and she would have had no clue what was going on in my life. Here is just part of it...

Grandpa smiled and related this story to his grandchild:"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have;how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler Icrashed upon the floor.They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my Mother taught me to fold them in prayer.They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war.They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent.They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son.Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my Parents and Spouse and walked my Daughter down the aisle.Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend's foot.They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body.They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life.But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ ."

pirate's cove playroom

Here is our latest creative venture. I cannot take full credit. It pains me to tell you that we splurged and paid a wonderful group of ladies to paint this for us. I have NEVER paid someone to paint something in my life!! I will add that it was totally affordable and worth it. I did learn a lot from watching them and would be willing to share details with anyone who requests such info...


The ship is awesome, and the pirate is so cool. Not Jack Sparrow cool, but little boy pirate room cool. We have one wall that is completely netting with a shabby anchor hanging that i found on eBay for 1.99, plus minimal shipping :) We are still in accessory mode, but it has been a huge hit!!




This map was a pottery barn kids find, and on sale! My mom and grandmother have a wonderful machine that i used to monogram their names at the bottom of the map.We also used the scripture reference of Matthew 6:19-21. My husband and i come from very different backgrounds growing up, and we want our kids to know that Earthly treasure is not what is important. The "Aye! Treasure!" is taken from one of my son's favorite books about a little boy named Jeremy Jacobs who wants to be a pirate, then realizes that no one will read him bedtime stories on the ship and that pirate's teeth are all green.

We then decided to put their names in their room over their beds and it turned out so sharp!! I am sure before too long their will be masking tape down the center the room and lots of 'mine' going on...but for now, they love it!

Well, Supermom (since i have no idea how to link anything!!) here's our latest playroom idea and a some pics of my two little pirates.

top 10 things i learned while living in CO

1. Purple mountains majesty really does exist. God is huge. No one else could be responsible for such beauty.
2. Legalizing a dangerous substance does not prove to be a good thing. 'Safer than alcohol' my rear. Tell that to the guy on my husband's company softball team whose reflexes were so slowed that he almost got knocked out by hubby at homeplate. Maybe it's because I have never been around anything but drunks beginning in early childhood, but I can't get used to grown adults smoking something they had to sneak buy. Legal, yes, but only with a doctor's note and apparently those come cheap and easy. I've never smelled more of it in my life. Probably walk around in this altitude with a contact high most of the time. And believe it or not, in OK you would just be repulsed to see your child pick up a cigarette butt...try a used joint. (almost happened while waiting to be seated at a nice restaurant)
3. I love my children. They are hilarious, brilliant, strong, special, courageous...all the things their granny tells them. They are boys who are not afraid to tell their mommy and daddy how much they love us all the time. They are never happier than when we show them lots of attention together. If we have learned nothing, we have learned how to be a family again. It doesn't have to be about anyone else - just us 4.
4. My husband is wonderful. I love him for this move. He has not only proven to himself once and for all, but to me that he has our best interest at heart. He is the true spiritual leader of this household, and I can let go of ever feeling in charge. I needed that big time! My joy and goal is to just be fulfilled. We have been through so much and have grown every inch of the way.
5. The stay home mom gripe turned into an entire blog entry. It was a huge part of my stay here, but I fear there are miserable at home moms everywhere. I was not one of them. Yes, there are rough days when nothing goes your way...take a class, join a bible study, love your kids and your time to watch them grow, love your hubby for what he is giving you, and don't forget to release your frustration somehow. You don't have to have a fancy gym membership. Try a walk around the block. Don't be afraid to admit that you like working outside the home. Very wise women find this out all the time.
6. Virtually everyone is a transfer here. We have only met 2 natives. It is a serious melting pot of cultures. And apparently openly breastfeeding with no attempt to cover the breast is a beautiful, natural, earth mother kind of event. I'm all about nature, but hubby about passed out at the zoo.
7. Cost of living is about 20% higher...they say. Not seen or noticed except in housing. Our brand new custom home on 3.2 acres in Oologah, OK sold for 192,500. We rented a home here on a saltine sized lot with an 'enormous' backyard for way toooooo much a month. More than our mortgage in OK. Colorado definition of enormous - just a tad bigger than our dog run for our daschund in OK. The basement gig is awesome! I will miss that. A/C is not required due to the mild temps, but coming from OK I need to sniff some free-on occasionally while being a mile closer to the sun. Asking price for this beauty...close to 300,000. Transplant our OK home & property here...$750,000 is what the realtor told us. Land is not an option in most affordable places here. It is reserved for bears, mountain lions, big horn sheep, buffalo, prarie rattlers, and mule deer. Some of the most beautiful animals. The deer come straight off some Santa movie and make our little white tails look like woosies.
8. If you were stranded in CO what one thing would you need to survive? LOTION!Not just Jergen's cherry almond, but some sort of body butter. Thick and hearty. The fresh mtn. air is wonderful to breath, but rough on the skin.
9. There is nothing like waking up and looking out your upstairs window to see the neighbor dressing right in front of you. NO, joking...to see Pike's Peak. This really is a scenicly wonderful place to live. The foothills of the Rockies, if you're ever lost you have 3 helpful hints. When you see the front range you are headed West. When you see Pike's Peak you are headed South to Colorado Springs, and when you see traffic backed up you are headed straight North into downtown Denver.
10. FITNESS. The altitude about killed us when we first got here. Just climbing up 3 stairs it was like all of the sudden I needed to be inhaler dependant. It only took a few days to conquer the steps, but almost 6 mo. to really get into a habit of working out every day. We decided when we moved that we were going to change our fitness lifestyle. My husband is diabetic and takes a handful of pills daily. His biggest problem is his sugar going high. He has sort of a double whammy of family history bad cholesterol and family history diabetes. He has trimmed down from a 52 to 46 waist since December. We both enjoy the gym. It is almost a craving now. If we could just lose the sweet cravings we would be fine. Yes, just because someone tells you that you can't have sweets doesn't mean you all the sudden don't like them. Darn! We want our kids to know that we think our health is important. We want them to grow up active and making good choices. That came easy here. For one, we really knew nobody to keep us overly busy doing other things. So our goal is to keep moving when we get back HOME! I am going to sign up for a fitness program (free!) that sponsors you with one run/fun run or walk per month. Of course the free t-shirt is encouraging, but I have recently been improving my very slow time of running a mile. I am not a small person and would have never thought I could do this. I don't want to lose my enthusiasm, so I have been setting a few goals for myself along the way. My husband feels good, looks as handsome as ever, and can't wait to work in our new yard in OK.

We will never feel more blessed. My husband and I had fought coming here for about a year and a half before deciding that if we didn't take this chance it may eat away at us the rest of our lives. We have learned so much, but mostly just how big God is. He has provided us basically a round trip ticket to a great job. My husband has always struggled with his career, and he came home one night here and just said that we needed to go back to OK. I about passed out. Our kids were definatly struggling, but I didn't realize how unhappy he was. When he told his boss that I was indeed taking my job back in OK, and that he would fulfill his obligation for his year here it was very hard. We were for some reason not at all concerned. We had feelers out already for jobs in OK, and he felt confident that he would find something by January. The worst part was that he would have to stay through December and we would already be in OK. God is so good! The boss told him that they would work something out because he could not be their competition. Yea hubby!! Finally feeling validated for his hard work and knowing that it is not going unnoticed. Finally believing and trusting in God enough to just be upfront and bold with others. They are transferring him back to OK with the same pay. Hello God! No other way that all could have happened. Also, they have knocked down a wall at their only facility there to make him an office, they have given him a whole week off to move, and he starts there June 5th!!!!!! Praise the Lord! Grace like rain!!!!!!!!!!! Colorado will always have a special place in my heart.

stay at home and love it, please!

I have been wanting to write about my Colorado experience, so that I would never forget everything that the Lord has taught me while I was here. I started out with this top 10 list and number one turned into a soap box, so I will just diverge on that as a whole topic.

I have been clearly disturbed by the actions of some individuals since being here. I was taking on a new career path, and they managed to suck the life right out of it. Yes, I am speaking of stay at home mothers. I must say to begin with that the only thing that kept my sanity was reading the mommy blogs of women who take pride in their job and their children. I am so glad that I started reading, God knew to have my sister keep begging me until I gave in and just joined the blog world. Also, my new good friend Jenny. We have sort of seen both sides of the coin. We both came from the same career path, and we have shared similar frustrations along the way. May God give her the strength to not get too 'crazed'.

These are the issues at hand. It is alright to have money and be a stay at home mom if...

* You don't use the leisure pool at the local rec. center to show off your tummy tuck scar while showing off your thong and chasing your 18 mo. old.

*Don't complain about spending time with your children! They are YOUR precious beings. If your trade off at home mommy can't complete the babysitting swap on your usual daily basis for you to go tan...you will likely survive and I am guessing no one will even notice.

*D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E-! Please don't depend on all the planets and stars being in alignment for your child to behave properly. Beat them into submission (joking, but all you who do discipline will back me on that one).

*If your nanny, or whomever generally combs your child's hair, is off that day...worry with someone else's looks other than your own. The kids deserve to match, have their shoes on the right feet all day. You know, not just sneak past you with them pointing outward, wrenching their little, big toe? I'm pretty sure if left in that position there would be long term damage.

*Your husband...Yes, when I first started this quest of not 'working' (hee, hee) I began to realize something. Not all hubbies are cut out to be hubbies with a wife that doesn't 'work'. It can be a thankless, red-eyed, no-money-making task. I was so blessed to have had this opportunity. Although, the women I have had the pleasure of meeting at various places along the way are miserable. Granted, some of this is due to the relationship with their hubbies, but I have never heard so much complaining in my life. Your husband should not have to watch the kids/KID (sad but true, several do not have multiple children) the second he walks in the door because you have been MADE to HANDLE them all day. What do these people thing Laura's mom on Little House thought when Pa came home from the fields? Excuse me while I go pamper myself Pa...I don't think so sister! Do they not realize that there are women who would pay good money to go through the agony of childbirth just to hold that baby until it was in college? I was around happier women and their much happier children when I 'worked' all day, every day!

You make life what you want it to be. You learn from mistakes, you love whole-heartedly or you won't ever know what it feels like coming back to you. You really do have to put yourself aside, but don't be afraid to remember that you are still there. I can't help but want to scream because there are deserving women all over the world who need the chance to have a child of their own, and other women waste away every day with their little blessings. To all you at home mom's out there (I'm not sure why I just said that, there are like two people who read this :) sounded good) you really do have the most blessed opportunity, the best 'job' (next to teaching that is) ever!! Don't take it for granted. There are women everywhere who will never have that joy. As I go back to teaching next year, I will be helping my oldest across the way to start his Kindy journey and will be praying daily for my little 2 year old. May he have all the fun in the world and take a big, long afternoon nap so that I don't miss too much.

balletone

yes, that was the name of the class that almost killed me. In the class description at the rec. center it clearly stated that you didn't have the have any prior dance experience. Well, this I do have...not ballet, but I was actually in a recital at age 27. If you know me you may be thinking that had to have been a dare, but it was merely a wonderful way to make new friends and spend time with my sister and sister-in-law. We still can't believe we did it, but it rocked!!

Needless to say, I thought I could handle this ballet/toning class. I handled it alright...I just barely lived to tell about it. For one, I am built a bit more like an ultimate fighter/kickboxer than a ballerina. I walked in head held high, looked around to see what the norm was and proceeded to take off my shoes and socks. I found an inconspicuous place to stand, not too close, but not back row either like the baptist I was raised to be. I begin to stretch out a little. I am starting to see a pattern with the women who are walking in. They all appear to be at least 6 feet tall. My husband laughs at me when I say I am 5'4". He swears I can't be more than 5'2".

As we begin, the teacher immediately spots a new victim. She looks my way and makes sure I have a visual on myself in the mirror, for it is especially important to be able to see yourself. I want to shout out that I don't particularly enjoy having a 'visual' of my total body in these distorted mirrors or any mirror for that matter, but I refrain for fear of drawing even more attention to my short self.

She goes through a few basics for my benefit, and just standing in first position I am feeling good. I am at least flexible enough to do this part. Sure, I can make it. She proceeds through a routine of poses and moves, then reminds me to keep myself in clear sight at all times (obviously my technique was catching her eye and needed to be catching mine). She says we will go through the routine 4 or 5 times up to tempo (fast) before going to the floor to tone. I am still thinking I can handle it. I quit thinking that the third time through the 'routine' at the same time I look up at the clock and realize only about 15 minutes had passed. I was ready to leave. The arches of my feet were on fire, as were my inner thighs. Apparently kickboxers use their quads to do most of the work, and my inner thighs were not conditioned to stay in this 'first position' for very long.

After another reminder to get a visual on myself, I almost told Six Foot Six Suzie to get a visual on my rear as it was leaving the room. I managed to send her a smile in the mirror and keep on truckin'. We made it to floor exercises and I thought I was home free. I was experiencing paralysis in certain parts of my legs and neck, but figured I had made it this far so I would continue.

Have you ever sat in a mitzi (you know the old cheerleading jump?) and did leg lifts with your back leg? Try it and see how it works out for you. Ever done a ballet sit-up? Well, let's just say I know why ballerina's stomachs look like they do, and that leftover baby weight from two kids sort of gets in the way of this exercise.

I am not bitter. I am not mad at my genetic make-up. I am just simply warning anyone out there who thinks they may be up for balletone. I will stick to my old ways. I will realize I am 31, not 21. I will set limits on my workouts and know when to quit...and maybe someday I will be able to climb stairs again and have a full range of motion in my neck.

taterisms

My son, oldest of two sons, is a 4 year old comedian. His granny calls him 'brilliant and special' and I just love that because he already believes it. In this world, self-esteem can be everything. I am so greatful that as an adult I realize this and want a healthy dose of encouragement given to my kids (not to mention the obvious healthy dose of discipline!). Here are a few things he has recently said that I have been making note of that I don't ever want to forget...

Hey mom, I know all about that sin bear. If you feed him too often you may not go to Heaven.

Hey brother, I only know two people in heaven...God and C.C's mom (would have been his Great Great Grandmother).

Yes, we did talk about Easter in my class at church...The stone is rolled away, HE IS RISEN! HAL-E-LU-A! HAL-E-LU-A!

Mom, can you do the robot? It goes something like this...he then demos the robot with 80's perfection. Not sure where that came from!

I can now spin spaghetti on my fork...I'm really getting used to being a man!

Mom, if there is an emergency or fire or something I know what a one looks like, but maybe you could push the 9.

I love Mr. Incredible, but how come Jesus is the greatest super?

I can move this chair to the table because I am using my inner strength.

Ok, I could go on all day and marvel at his cuteness! Yes, some of these took some explaining on our parts after they were said, but great conversation starters none the less. I am so grateful for a place to manage my thoughts other than post-it noting all of them to his scrapbook that still has nothing in it!!!!! Oh well, maybe by graduation...from med. school...:)

i am from...

I am from red 90 three wheeler (now illegal) carefully purchased by my father from his favorite periodical...the Bargain Post. I am from Chinese roach detouring chalk after all else failed, because I am from rental properties, cozy, loving, yet not all the rage.

I am from the golf course weeping willow's protection, the jonquil so refreshing, and the earthworm. I am from the pine needles, cone bird feeders, and most of all I am from pumpkins perfectly picked and placed. I am from the lake with the Yancy's to give mom a break. I am from soccer fields and cheerleading practice. I am from rides home with Aunt SuAnny.

I am from from Eddie...from Coetta. From high school romance and promises of everlasting love.

I am from the not minding my own business kind of closeness and not knowing when to stop drinking, from proud hard work and disfunction.
From "i am only spanking you because i love you" and "how's your car runnin'?"
I am from the Bible belt, no women shall take the offering, no shorts in the gym. Heaven/Hell revival, "Just as I am". I am from you might go to hell for clapping in the church building and you'd have never heard "Grace Like Rain" that now makes my son's tummy tickle with raised hands.

I'm from Oklahoma, chicken and dumplings and popcorn (with m&m's if it was payday).

From the gar shooting, beer drinking uncles. From the country club other side. From the 'don't talk about religion, politics, or other family members' voice of non-reason PaPa. From Grandma Great who once ate 13 desserts resulting in 'must be blastin' somewhere'. From trips to Uncle J's, dreaming that every day would be that fun. From my dad walking me down the aisle to meet my true love.

I am from retro photo albums yellowed and worn, shoeboxes, rusty lock boxes, cedar chests and the barn. I am from film on reels of mom's childhood vacations, quilt filled trailers with smoky framed photos given each Christmas, and refrigerators exploding with friend's kids. From embarrassing stockings with 4th grade pictures attached and ornaments wrapped gently and placed in the attic by CC and only CC. From proud phone calls and news clippings about us kids sent across state lines to dad from ma. I am from lots of tears and lots of love.

parenting

I was recently sent this email. It had no copyright, etc. so hopefully it is ok to post as part of my blog. I was honestly laughing so hard I could barely contain myself. The reason is because my sister-in-law sent it to me. She is beautiful, neat, classy...and needless to say, married to my brother. He is such a sweet guy. Raised with all girls, and surprisingly is the cleanest of all of us. Almost anal in most cases. You know the type. He gets this look on his face when he sees grime of any kind like someone just asked him to lick the floor of a movie theater after a busy Friday night. He gets in my vehicle last week when I was home for a visit and immediately starts the clean up efforts. I just know that they have got to be thinking kids, and I just can't wait!!!!!! The first time he finds a fish stick behind their designer sofa....hee, hee, hee! (evil wicked witch laughter fills my head)

The best part is that they are going to be the best parents. They have this mix of compassion and hard *%$. Their children will be loved all around and very well rounded! I can't wait until his little boy asks him funny questions, or the first time the kid pukes or spills strawberry milk in the shag carpeting. I am now speaking from experience. Just last night, my 4 year old (going on 18) says that he has found his brain. I said oh, where is it? He says just below my wasset (his penis...somehow he named it a cross between wiener and faucet...makes sense!). He proceeds to tell me that he sees it everyday when he potties and knows that is his brain because he saw a picture of a brain in a book. WOW! I explained that it was not his brain, then going into my very 'science teacher' version of where the brain is located and why it is surrounded by bone for protection, etc. The explanation was lengthy in hopes of detouring the obvious next question he was going to ask. Didn't work! We now know what testicles are. He was at least satisfied with the technical name, and didn't ask their function. Thank you Lord for that break. I, as always when something in that area is brought up, explained and reminded him about the importance of only discussing these things with mommy and daddy. So, on his way down the stairs he yells down to daddy..."Daddy, my brain really isn't under my wasset!" Nice, I just smiled at my husband and told him I would explain later!

Enjoy and parents, try not to wet your pants!:

How To Know Whether Or Not You Are Ready To Have Children
MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.
GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
NIGHT TEST: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 PM, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Getup, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 am. Set alarm for 5:00am Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
INGENUITY TEST: Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint,turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last,take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
AUTOMOBILE TEST: Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.There, perfect.
PHYSICAL TEST (Women): Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
PHYSICAL TEST (Men): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

finding a balance

What does this mean anyway? I am having a hard time right now doing that. I used to teach 140 kids a day, be a decent mom, good wife, and never perfected the housekeeping gig...but oh well! Now I get to stay home. I love every minute of it. I get to work out daily, set my own schedule, reward myself for a job well done, and even hear and see everything my little guys do. Here are my only issues. I used to work with 40+ women every day. These ladies were in the same boat I was in with the list of daily duties. They were my friends. They could sympathize, and another thing we all shared was the love of teaching. So...which do I prefer? Well, considering my 4 year old seems to need counseling for his lack of friends and grandparents in our new state, and my husband's job is nothing more than a job?? I am not sure. The money flows like rivers here, but is that enough? That is certainly not what life is made of...it is made of family, friends, faith, and relationships. It is knowing that your child is safe and flourishing. It is loving whatever you are doing...Wherever you are doing it, and making the most of every situation. It is not taking for granted the importance of stability and community.

reaping what you sow

When I was little all I ever wanted was for my parents to somehow get back together. I say when I was little, it is truly only fair to say that I felt that way from about age 9 to 12. My thoughts and feelings changed when I turned 12 and all the sudden my heart was burdened with my dad's lost soul. He was a bit of a drinker when we were young. I never realized how much this impacted me until I was an adult and was scared (still am) to drink in a crowd and, of course, never alone. I had a few embarrassing incidents in college that were obviously paternally inherited.
I knew that his mom was a 'good woman' and until her funeral did not know that she used to sing in church. My mom sheltered us a bit from any sort of super close relationship with my dad's parents. My mom meant well and as we got older encouraged us to build that relationship. It was just not a place where we would have been spending the night or going over for Sunday dinner. We joke that by sundown my grandpa was posted at the end of the driveway with a shotgun, drunk, and awaiting any trespassers.
My dad was having a sordid affair with an older, wrinkled, epileptic smoker that he worked with; while all along my mom was taking care of 4 children and babysat a few of her working friends kids during the day. She had never worked outside of the home, and she and my dad had just custom built a beautiful home for our family. Needless to say, we moved into a rental and my mom got her first job since high school. My little sister was still in the crib, so my older sister, 12, myself, 9, and our brother, 4.5, were instant babysitters, housekeepers, etc.
I say epileptic because our first blessed opportunity to meet this scary woman was at a pizza place where she had a siezure when ordering the pizza. All I remember was her false teeth coming out and my little sister crying in the high chair. We were all scared. For goodness sakes, we were way to young to be witnessing all of that. It was hard enough because there were several promising weekends prior to this one that we would all 4 wait at the front door for his arrival and he would not show. I can just remember my mom scooping us all up and taking us to the park or something to help us feel a little better about being stood up.
My dad moved to Louisiana with this woman after a failed attempt to start a business led to bancruptcy in Oklahoma. While there and still married, he met a woman. Someone else that he worked with...although this time younger, smarter, very cajun, very opinionated, very passionate about life, and very controlling of him. She was young enough to want more children. They were blessed with 3. Yes, my father has 7 beautiful (if I do say so myself) children.
I wanted to say all that to say this...at age 31 I can honestly say that God's covenant with Abram in Genesis really does still hold true today.
"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all people on earth will be blessed through you."
My dad was prayed for by me for right at 10 years before God spoke to him. As a kid every time anyone asked for prayer requests, that was mine. I would simply say, "My dad." It was hard on all of us. We were raised in a conservative Southern Baptist Church, do you know the kind? Where you can't even wear shorts in the gymnasium? My mom was pretty well shunned by all but 2 women that come to mind. I even had a friend who's parents would no longer let her stay the night because my mom was 'a single parent'. No telling what hell she would have been exposed to.
I was the director of Vacation Bible School when I first started teaching school and had summer time to help out with that. I loved it. I never realized what an impact VBS was having on the parents of the kids who came. I then found out that is one main reason that churches have this big event. To get the parents to come! Well, that same summer, my dad's kids were attending VBS in their community and the rest is history.
My dad...once I felt cursed by him, and he would tell you today that he has reaped plenty of what he sowed. Yet, he would also tell you that taking his teenagers to ballgames, school events, and church functions is now something he loves. I used to think that would have made me jealous, but I can't tell you how happy it makes me. He would tell you a funny story about how one time his wife had to bail him out of jail and he to this day will never hear the end of it. He would tell you that without her persuasive, persistence he would not be walking the straight and narrow. He would tell you how proud of his kids he is. He would tell you that he never wanted to hurt anyone, but admits to hurting everyone. He will call himself 'honorable grandfather' to my two sweethearts and laugh the hardest on the phone when they are talking to him. He would tell you that he cooks for the men's prayer breakfast, runs the powerpoint on Sunday mornings, and is amazed whenever he can share his testimony. I am amazed at the blessings that I have received from coming to the realization that he will meet Jesus someday just as I prayed for and I know my siblings did too. That he is already forgiven and that we are all in this together as believers. That none of us are perfect and that's why we have Jesus. Thank you for the promises and long lasting covenants that You and only You give Lord!